One does not simply telnet into Mordor

Description

Even Boromir knows port 23 is a security nightmare.

This genius mashup of Lord of the Rings and IT culture is perfect for network engineers who’ve spent years explaining why telnet is deprecated, sysadmins who cringe at unencrypted connections, and cybersecurity pros who’ve seen things. If you’ve ever had to explain SSH to someone still using port 23, this shirt understands your pain.

Made from soft, sustainable organic cotton for maximum comfort during code reviews, server migrations, or marathon LOTR extended edition viewings. A must-have for anyone who lives at the intersection of Middle-earth and middleware.

Ideal gift for IT professionals, DevOps engineers, network administrators, penetration testers, and anyone whose idea of fellowship involves secure protocols.

• 100% organic ring-spun cotton
• Fabric weight: 5.3 oz./yd.² (180 g/m²)
• Single jersey
• Medium fit
• Set-in sleeves
• 1 × 1 rib at collar
• Wide double-needle topstitch on the sleeves and bottom hems
• Self-fabric neck tape (inside, back of the neck)
• The fabric of this product holds certifications for its organic cotton content under GOTS (Global Organic Textile Standard) and OCS (Organic Content Standard)
• The fabric of this product is OEKO-TEX Standard 100 certified and PETA-Approved Vegan

The sizes correspond to a smaller size in the US market, so US customers should order a size up.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Q: Will non-technical people understand this?
A: They’ll recognize the LOTR reference, but the telnet joke is for IT pros. That’s what makes it special!

Q: What’s the fit like?
A: Classic unisex cut. Runs smaller than US sizing—order one size up if you’re in the US.

Q: How long until I receive it?
A: Made to order in 5-7 days, then 3-5 days shipping (US). Worth the wait for quality!

Q: Can I return it if the size is wrong?
A: Absolutely! 30-day returns, no questions asked.

Q: Is this officially licensed?
A: This is parody/commentary combining a popular meme with tech humor (fair use).

Produced and shipped using a global production and shipping company. They’re probably just around the corner from you!

This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!

Age restrictions: For adults
EU Warranty: 2 years
Other compliance information: Meets the EU REACH requirements.

In compliance with the General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR), Just Buy the Damn Shirt and SINDEN VENTURES LIMITED ensure that all consumer products offered are safe and meet EU standards. For any product safety related inquiries or concerns, please contact our EU representative at gpsr@sindenventures.com. You can also write to us at 99 King Street, MELBOURNE VIC 3000 or Markou Evgenikou 11, Mesa Geitonia, 4002, Limassol, Cyprus.