TERMS OF SERVICE
Last Updated: The last time we remembered to update this
Welcome to justbuythedamnshirt.com! By using this website, you agree to these Terms of Service. If you don’t agree, well, that’s awkward, but you probably shouldn’t use the site.
We know nobody actually reads these things (you’re probably the first person to get this far, honestly), but our lawyer made us write it, and your lawyer probably wants you to read it. So here we go.
1. THE BASIC AGREEMENT
You’re here to buy shirts. We’re here to sell shirts. This is a simple, beautiful relationship. Don’t overthink it.
By accessing or using justbuythedamnshirt.com, you agree to:
- Be a human person (or at least pretend to be one)
- Not use our site for anything illegal, unethical, or just generally weird
- Accept that sometimes websites break and we’re doing our best
- Understand that sarcasm is our primary love language
2. YOUR ACCOUNT
If you create an account:
- Keep your password secret (like, “your embarrassing middle name” level secret)
- Don’t share your account with others
- Let us know if someone hacks your account (we’ll be mad too)
- Take responsibility for any activity under your account
You must be at least 13 years old to use this site. If you’re under 18, get a parent’s permission before buying stuff. We’re not trying to get in trouble with anyone’s mom.
3. ORDERS & PAYMENT
Placing Orders: When you place an order, you’re making an offer to buy our stuff. We reserve the right to accept or reject that offer (though we’re probably going to accept it because, you know, capitalism).
Pricing:
- All prices are in USD unless otherwise stated
- We reserve the right to change prices at any time (we probably won’t, but legally we can)
- If there’s an obvious pricing error (like a shirt accidentally listed for $0.01), we’re not honoring it. Nice try though.
Payment:
- We accept major credit cards and whatever payment methods our payment processor supports
- Your payment information goes directly to our payment processor—we don’t store it
- If your payment fails, we’ll let you know and give you a chance to fix it
Order Confirmation: You’ll get an email when you place an order. If you don’t get one, check your spam folder or contact us before panicking.
4. SHIPPING & DELIVERY
We’ll ship your order within a reasonable timeframe (usually 3-5 business days, unless Mercury is in retrograde or we’re overwhelmed by orders).
Shipping Times: Estimates are just that—estimates. Sometimes packages take longer because shipping carriers have their own ideas about time and space.
Lost or Damaged Items: If your package arrives looking like it went through a WWE match, contact us. We’ll make it right.
Wrong Address: If you give us the wrong address, we can’t help you once the package ships. Double-check that stuff.
5. RETURNS & REFUNDS
Our Policy:
- Changed your mind? You have 30 days to return unworn, unwashed items with tags attached
- Defective or wrong item? Contact us immediately—we’ll fix it
- You pay return shipping unless it’s our mistake
Non-Returnable Items:
- Sale items marked as final sale
- Items you’ve worn, washed, or turned into a crop top
- Custom or personalized orders
Refund Processing: Refunds take 5-10 business days once we receive and process your return. We’re fast, but banks are not.
6. INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY
Our Stuff: All content on this site—designs, text, images, that one really good pun—is owned by us or our licensors. You can’t copy, reproduce, or redistribute it without permission.
Your Stuff: If you submit content to us (reviews, photos, interpretive dances), you grant us permission to use it for marketing purposes. We won’t do anything weird with it, promise.
7. PRODUCT DESCRIPTIONS
We try to be accurate, but:
- Colors may look different on your screen (blame technology, not us)
- Sizes are approximate (check our size chart)
- Our product descriptions are entertaining but should not be taken as medical, legal, or life advice
- That shirt will not actually make you a better programmer/data scientist/human
8. PROHIBITED ACTIVITIES
Don’t:
- Try to hack our site (we’ll be personally offended)
- Use bots to scrape our content or place fake orders
- Resell our products while pretending they’re yours
- Do anything that would make us say “seriously, dude?”
9. DISCLAIMER OF WARRANTIES
Our shirts are sold “as is.” We believe they’re great, but legally we have to say:
- We don’t guarantee they’ll make you cooler (though they might)
- We don’t guarantee they’ll last forever (what does?)
- We don’t guarantee anything beyond what’s legally required
10. LIMITATION OF LIABILITY
To the maximum extent permitted by law, we’re not liable for:
- Indirect, incidental, or consequential damages
- Lost profits from not wearing our shirts
- Emotional distress from shipping delays
- Your questionable life choices (shirt-related or otherwise)
Our total liability is limited to the amount you paid for your order. Seems fair, right?
11. INDEMNIFICATION
If you do something that gets us sued (please don’t), you agree to cover our legal costs. Let’s just not go there.
12. MODIFICATIONS TO TERMS
We can update these terms whenever we want. We’ll post the new version here with an updated date. Continued use of the site means you accept the changes.
If we make major changes, we might email you. Or put up a banner. Or send smoke signals. We’ll figure it out.
13. TERMINATION
We can terminate or suspend your account if you violate these terms or do something sketchy. You can also delete your account anytime—no hard feelings.
14. GOVERNING LAW
These terms are governed by the laws of Australia. Any disputes will be resolved in Australia.
15. DISPUTE RESOLUTION
If we have a problem, let’s talk about it like adults before anyone calls a lawyer. Seriously, email us first. We’re reasonable people.
If that doesn’t work, we’ll try mediation. If THAT doesn’t work, then fine, we’ll see you in court, but it’s going to be awkward for everyone.
16. SEVERABILITY
If any part of these terms is found to be unenforceable, the rest still applies. It’s like Jenga—one piece falls, the rest of the tower stays up.
17. ENTIRE AGREEMENT
These terms, plus our Privacy Policy, are the whole agreement between us. Any previous agreements, pinky promises, or blood oaths are void.
18. CONTACT US
Questions about these terms? Think we missed something? Just want to chat?
Email us at: justbuythedamnshirt@gmail.com
Or use our contact form: [link to contact page]
We’ll respond within 1-2 business days, unless we’re dealing with a shipping emergency or having an existential crisis about Oxford commas.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Look, we get it—legal stuff is boring. But we tried to make this as painless as possible. The TL;DR version: Don’t be a jerk, we’ll ship you shirts, everyone’s happy.
Now that you’ve fulfilled your legal obligation to pretend to read this, go ahead and justbuythedamnshirt.
These terms are effective as of 12-Dec-2025. By using this site after this date, you agree to these terms. Even if you didn’t read them. Especially if you didn’t read them.